Sep 22, 2015

ambidex-trist

the globe is in balance tonight, at least in terms of light from our nearest -- and arguably what should also be our favorite -- star / such an occurrence (unlike the one at Owl Creek) demarcates the end of summer and the beginning of autumn // autumn is my absolute favorite time of year / i could wax poetic on why this is the case until my word count governor glitches like Volkswagen, so suffice to say that tonight puts me in balance: thermally (my internal set-point is rather warm, and summer -- especially THIS f*n historically hot, record-breatking summer -- makes me constantly hot and constantly cranky), temporally (the day is as long as the night -- literally the best of both worlds), and aesthetically (the variegated bio-color wheel that dominates our surroundings in these latitudes this time of year is truly a substance of life)_

yes, i am in balance tonight / it's a subjective balance, but for me it's a balance of all that makes my often scrambled mind equilibrate; it's like that impossible Jenga stack that, despite its precarious chaos, teeters within its uniquely subjective possibility_

and so with much fanfare, red wine, Ryan Swift & Taylor Adams, and a woven sweater skin, i breathe in balance tonight among the colored chaos that is commencing around me // my eager thoughts fall and tumble like the first of the fallen leaves_

Sep 13, 2015

the dark energy

here's another new bird i just can't hold on to any longer / again, it's far from rehearsed or ready for flight but fly it must, just as the last tune [below] // for what it's worth, hopefully this autumn i'll be able to sit down and properly rehearse and record the many songs that have been arriving and post some sort of EP / although, i'm not sure anyone hears this stuff or cares much anyway // but it's something i have to do regardless_

[stream only]


the dark energy [09_02_15]

sometimes i don't know why i try to love again
what starts in lovely bloom just withers in the end
i wish that i could purge this faulty human flesh inside
a heart that beats alone is emotional genocide

so let it go
all that i have tried
there's no hope
that i can survive
without a love
to hold by my side
it's okay to let the stars have their way

always the one to choose the lonely path ahead
never the one to show for what was never said
this harbinger of self loathing in disguise
an antidote for love manipulated to deprive
everyone that has let me walk inside

oh, how could i be so terrified
of a love
to hold by my side
it's okay to let the stars have their way

my universe expands to fill my ego with demands
so cold
it's absolute zero

sometimes i don't know why i try to love again
what starts in lovely bloom just withers in the end
_