Of Sleepless Nights

I found a couple old poems I'd like to share...perhaps simply with myself by typing them aloud. I'm not sure what compelled me to write them back in November of 2008. But I feel compelled to revisit them now.

***

God, if you read my blog, this one is for you:

Wishing I Could See The Stars - 11.02.2008

Through the glass
All I can see
Is the sad state of misery
Fogging up my view
Of the heavens up there
Sprinkling about wishes like loose change
Promises of better days

So when there's clouds up above
I know the stars are still there
One for every memory
A million for my despair

Oh, sweet lovely
Without you, the sky is all black

Would you grant me a wish if I fell to the ground
Like you do so often when I'm not around
I just want to wipe these tears away
Heavy like clouds
So I can see your sweet beauty
And try to make you proud

***

The one below is about not wanting to be human. I often wish I could 'mutate and upgrade to missing link'. The burden of my flesh feels encoded in so many scars. I want to move through the seas; I want to spin with the clouds; i want to dissolve into the moonlight. I want to be among the beauty that is always out of my human reach. But most of all, I want to be freed from love. Its beauty is too much to bear when all it ever does is leave. So I'd rather just not have to feel it at all. But in order to do that, I can't be human. So mutate me:

DNApe - 11.02.2008

Bound by these codes of inadequacy
Bound by their organic lies
Corporal punishment in a spiritual life
Ruled by rules with unforgiving time

Reflections weigh heavy
A realization of my own
What is this creature but utterly alone
Plagued by what worked eons ago
No longer needed now
True love has no code

Mysteries abound in this world of mine
Filled with ideas floating off the ground
But bound again in acids
Burning up their power
To change the way we see the world
To change the way we live and die

There is a better code within
Unchartered by science
One of energetic symmetry
The way God intended
The way we disappointed

So free me of this suffocating code
And all its inane results
For I don't want to be this anymore
It's filled with too many faults