Sometimes I like to be alone. The reason for that is complicated and likely even beyond my capacity to answer. But I do know that it's an inaccurate disposition. I actually hate being alone. And slowly, as time progresses its unforgiving agenda, I am realizing that any experience is only valuable such that I can share that experience with someone else. It's similar to the cliched saw obviating objectivity without an observer in the forest to hear the falling tree: perhaps my experiences alone are meaningless -- or better stated, valueless -- without someone for whom share that experience. Without such validation, what truths can we ever acquire? Certainly not our own, for those are cloaked in a thick, protective subconscious veil. And so the truths we often seek, whether that of a beleaguered relationship or an indecorous social comment, lie in the summated validation of others sharing one's experiences.
Soon I will lose the shared experiences of a true friend, and hence, a snippet of my truth. This friend has completed her tenure in this fine city and it is her actualization that pulls away to personal fulfillment (and arguably societal fulfillment if one considers her global ambitions). It saddens me, yet I can't help but weep with joy. She is succeeding in her journey. So it might even be selfish to mope among my loss when she is gaining so much, but alas, I will certainly long for the truth in which she enlightened me; but to be fair, perhaps she will long for the same in which I enlightened her. That is only something she could answer. Yet, with her departure now eminent, it is impossible to prolong any further the gravity of our experiences together as friends. She truly contributed to what was, is, and will be the value by which my life experiences are waged.
But what is it in this person, as well as the others that I'm blessed to have in my life, that bestow such value and truth to my life experience? For her, and possibly others, i realized that it has been her faith in me. She accepted me no matter the song, no matter the rhyme, no matter the idiosyncrasy, no matter the joke, no matter the mistake, no matter the success. And it has been this unabashed acceptance that has fortified my own fragile belief when I so often defaulted to personal atheism. This "friend" -- which certainly isn't a powerful enough noun -- showed me how to shine my brightest. And even if my glow was an odd color, she reminded me how uniquely beautiful it lit the room. The self-evident, beautiful irony, of course, is that this insight and utter altruism reflected her own uniquely beautiful light. And so I'm humbled. She has reminded me that the relationships I've invested with others are also an investment in myself to be my best. And, conversely, when I let others down, such as her, I also let myself down.
I am blessed to have not just one, but many people in my life that provide me with the truth, meaning, and value of my experiences. Every relationship I've had with these truly beautiful people has been unique, but such is the complicated requirement of this complicated life. And so with all humble acknowledgement and appreciation, i need to thank my dear friend for her recent reminder that every relationship I've had in the past and have to this day defines me to be the best person i can be, for the last people I want to let down are the people that give my life value. So long as they feel the same, then we can be nothing but our best. And our frail planet demands nothing less.
Thank you, Christina. You are beauty; you are one of a kind; you are one of many.
